We adult children pushed the drug she craved. — Families work on an informal system of gifting. Parents give food, board and care to children when they are young. As they become adults, parents provide education, down payments for homes, and bailouts when the young adult gets in trouble. When the parent grows old, children return the favor by…

With no one to manage except each other. — I was a lawyer. My wife was a social worker. We managed other people from inside complex bureaucracies for a living. At the end of the day we used to decompress by reviewing our days with each other at the kitchen table. Her enemies became mine and my enemies became…

I imagined it should be more dramatic. — I met Allen at church. He was twenty years my senior and was retiring from the practice of law just as I was getting comfortable in it. He liked country music, recreational vehicles, and farming. I liked rock-n-roll, electric cars, and cities. So we talked about practicing law. He talked…

Written rules can be waived or amended. The unwritten ones are enforced to the letter. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are what the initial members did to get and remain sober. They are suggestions. The Unwritten Twelve Steps are what modern members must do to feel fully a part…

The real reason I spent all those hours at the office. — As a child, I didn’t have an office, but I had a desk. In fourth grade, my desk was third from the front in the row by the big windows. The top of my desk lifted to reveal the tools of my trade. …

Another episode of why I am not a role model. — I have a history of finding a behavior that works well, reaping the benefits, and then, for no reason, stopping doing it. As I age, the behaviors change, but the pattern doesn’t. Yoga Here in Oregon, fall has arrived. The rain begins to fall, the leaves turn orange, and the schools…

And when I try, I hate it. — Both my parents were teachers. My mother, with her first-in-her-family-two-year degree from Sioux Falls College, was teaching at a country school in South Dakota — grades one through 12— and claims that she took a break from her duties one afternoon to give birth to me. My father, having returned…

Looking my best for my Tuesday morning grocery shopping — There were two good things about practicing law. I made good money, and I got to wear nice clothes. Before I retired, my wife could tell what I would be doing during the day by the way I dressed in the morning. A suit, white shirt, and tie meant a…

Because I wanted it to be true. — I’m an old retired lawyer, but I’m also a techie. At the beginning of this whole internet thing, I pieced together my computers from parts. I built web pages, owned many domains, and, in my misspent youth, even engaged in some low-level criminal activity in seedy online neighborhoods where you…