I retired, so who am I now?

“My name is Orrin. I am an alcoholic.”

I first said those words twenty-eight years ago. At the time, I was a resident at a bottom-of-the-barrel drug treatment facility. Since that day, I have said that phrase thousands of times. I believed it the first time I said it, and I believe it when I said it yesterday.

Back at the treatment center, there were other ‘I am” statements I could have made.

I am bankrupt.

I am unemployed.

I am unhappily married.

I am ashamed.

But the one that interested my counselors and colleagues in treatment was

I am a lawyer.

I was an unemployed lawyer, a disgraced lawyer, and eventually a disbarred lawyer, but being a lawyer was integral to my identity. People thought of me as a lawyer and I thought of myself that way. Cleaning up the wreckage of my past took a long time, but eventually, I was once again a licensed lawyer who made his living practicing law.

In the interim there was another ‘I am” statement that I claimed.

I am in recovery.

Without that one, I would never have rid myself of the bankruptcy, the unemployment, the unhappy marriage, and the shame. I would never have become a…