This is very true and often occurs. However, an early trip to an elder-law lawyer to set up payment for family care keeps the elder's money in the family, counts as Medicaid spenddown, and alleviates some of the burden on the caregiver. I had many family caregivers, including many older daughters, be shocked at the thought to taking money for their services and say they would never do it. Many ended up as you describe. They were wrong. I was right.